I’m 64 and I’m Just Glad to Be Here ~

Yep, one more time with the birthday musings.

I don’t know why, but today I feel OLD.  I felt old yesterday too, and I was only 63 then, so I’m not sure what the heck is going on.   Up until now, I have not been one to think about age.  I passed 30, 50 and even 60 without any visible (or invisible) angst.  Age?  “It’s only a number.  It’s not how old you are, but how old you feel.”  And I feel good – much younger than my calendar years.   But somehow, turning 64 feels different.  I feel different.  My body feels different and my face looks different dammit.  I do not like any of this and I no longer want to play the aging game.  I didn’t even wear my birthday tiara to Starbucks this morning.  Not like me at all.  I’ll slip that purple sparkly crown on my head at every opportunity.   Maybe this year I just need a little time before I’m ready to party.  Time to think about where I’ve been.  Who I’ve been. Who I’ve become, and how I got to right here.  Strange as it sounds, I think I need to mourn just a wee bit.  And then get over it.   I know all the struggles and victories and lessons learned in the past have led me to this particular place at this particular moment in my life.   And it is a very good place to be.   It has been a life worthy of celebration.  It’s just all passing a little too fast.  And I can’t control that.  I like to be in control.  I’m not happy.

So, my gift to myself will be a little self-indulgence.  Spending time.  Looking back.  Taking stock.  Being grateful.  Wondering what the future holds.  But really, just getting back to being glad to be here ~ however damn old I am.

Tonight the kids are coming over to cook us a delicious vegan birthday feast and share the bounty from their garden.   By then, I’ll be ready to get my party on.  To toast a life pretty well lived and celebrate new adventures on the road ahead.

And in the words of Bessie Cooper who turned 116 two days ago, here’s the secret to longevity – Mind your own business and don’t eat junk food.

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9 thoughts on “I’m 64 and I’m Just Glad to Be Here ~

  1. happy birthday sweetie. i wish you every happiness. i will be the big 50 on the weekend. i don’t feel old as i do fat and i guess according to bessie, i don’t stand a chance. i can’t mind my own business to save my soul.
    great picture. quit being so sad. you’re still here and able to type. xxxxx

    • Thanks Bev. I think I’m feeling nostalgic or some kind of crap like that I don’t usually indulge in. I’ll get over myself. BTW – I have loved every one of your posts. Makes me smile and wince at the same time…no easy feat.

  2. A very happy Birthday to you, to you, a very joyful Birthday to you, to you! La dee da, la, la dee da! Congratulations, you woke up and you’re one of the lucky ones still here, to share, to love, to taste, to see, to be. I love all you’re writings and like your other followers… I too can smile, laugh, resemble and relate to your posts. Cheers – to La Dolca Vita, the sweet life that gets better because we have friends. Birthday hugs, L

    • Thanks so much Laura. I feel strangely renewed today! Yea! That old Beatles song “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64 kept rolling around in my head yesterday. I AM glad to be here and now I can get on with the adventure called my life. See you soon my friend.

    • Thanks so much Laura. I feel strangely renewed today! Yea! That old Beatles song “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64 kept rolling around in my head yesterday. I AM glad to be here and now I can get on with the adventure called my life. See you soon my friend.

  3. I’m getting close to the big 6-0 and I have friends being diagnosed with and dying of cancer and having brain aneurysms and other troubling stuff. I presided over my father’s deathbed last year. So, it’s really hard to get to this age (and 64, of course) and not realize that life is fragile and fleeting—when all is said and done. So, I think we’re allowed to “mourn” our mortality sometimes–and birthdays are always an obvious time to be aware of the inexorable march of time. Then, as you said, it’s good to “get over ourselves”, and be grateful for our lives so far. As my husband, a critical care physician, said the other day, “The rest is gravy. We’ve beaten the odds. Now we just have to enjoy the fact that we’re playing with house money.”
    (BTW, I hope alcoholic beverages are considered to be vegan!)

    • Thanks Suzanne, I feel surprisingly back to my “old” self today! I am grateful for whatever Life brings my way and I really love your husband’s idea that at some point we have beaten the odds and now we’re playing with the house money. And, yes, a nice glass of wine went very well with the vegan dinner. My husband and I are healthy eaters but not vegan so it is always fun (and interesting) to see what my son’s latest creations are. Last night it was adventures with Seitan and lots of bounty from their garden. Delish!

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